Social media as advocacy tool

Today, I was veryyyyy fortunate to participate in Rappler’s “Social Media for Social Good” campaign. I have been (super) wanting to attend this workshop , but, I end up not attending (either due to work or something else).

The workshop emphasized how we can make us of our social media accounts to promote our cause. In our case, it’s promoting rice-based researches all over the world. There were a lot of takehome messages. The bonus is that, Maria Ressa was one of the speakers and it was such an joy (an early Christmas gift, if I may say), to hear her deliver a talk/presentation. It hit right into my gut. Everything she said and the rest of the Rappler team said were very useful for us, as Science Communicators and enthusiasts (I’d rather fall on the latter category).

One of the key things mentioned in the workshop is that “Advocacy communicaiton starts with YOU.” It means you would be a communication tool to get the institute’s message out there. So it is very important that your purpose is aligned to the organization’s vision in order for you to say things effectively– that caters to the mind and to the heart.

One question, however, is “Are you ready to merge your personal life with work?” After all, we were told it is best to have one account name for your all social media accounts. In my case, I use my real name on Facebook, but my pseudonym on the rest of my social media accounts. This is because I want to keep my narcississtic tendencies to myself. I am like, opening a Pandora box out there, opening my heart to multi-million online readers.

If I merge my Instagram, Twitter, and other accounts with my FB account,that means increasing the use of my social media accounts for work, and less narcissistic bouts for me. I am still wrapping my head around the idea, but I think, in a couple of weeks, I would find it doable.

Kids invading the workplace

Today, we were invaded by some six to seven year old children, who had their field trip at IRRI. We always entertaining visitors from all walks of life, but this is the first time we handled children—and not just children, from a kindergarten class!

Imagine a horde of 20 plus, infinitely curious kids who could be rambunctious, ferocious, and naughty. We even role played that I would be the strict elder sister who would just shout “Quiet!” to children.

But then, all of these imaginary “terrorist” attacks dissipated the moment these children walked into our ordinarily quiet space. I was actually feeling nervous as they came in closer to our office. I remember our professor in Scientific and Technical Communication class, Dr. Tere Velasco, asked us, her Development Communication graduate students, “Choose a scientific theory and explain it to an eight year old child.”

I forgot what I have written in that exam, but now, I am more nervous because how the heck can I explain Postharvest process, or machines for that matter,to children, when the last time I was able to babysit a child was ten years ago? (Students, take your Graduate School exam questions to heart).

But then, I was fortunate to have my engineer colleagues with me, who happens to have children (well, one of them. The other is a bachelor, so we felt a bit intimidated with kids. Yeah, we’re that intimidated). Being a parent is quite an advantage because you would have the explanation how to explain an abstract concept to children. What would make them feel interested the most, but to let them see how rice is polished? So, my officemate showed the children how it’s done, and I feel pleased how curious children were. Quoting an Entomologist I recently interviewed, that sometimes, it’s more fun to teach three to six year old kids; “You just have to know how handle their erratic attention span.”

Kids, are always cute, and they are even cuter if they are curious. I hope that the children who visited us today had fun (I heard they planted rice), and learned a lot.

We’re thinking of switching on the laser leveling to reveal the beam it emits (for sending land leveling signals), so we could earn more “COOL!” expressions from the kids. I sincerely hope one of them becomes an Agricultural Engineer, or an Agriculturist someday. For now, I feel contented that they had the time of their lives to climb up a mini tractor and pretend they could drive it (If I have my own child, I would be really thrilled for him/her).

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Kids are forever adorable to me. 

Batanes: where everything is good and beautiful

Batanes is one of the things in my bucket list. And now that I was able to fulfill it, I was able to write a blog entry about it in one sitting down. The most detailed, descriptive, and longest piece I’ve ever written yet. Well, that’s why I’m into the field of process documentation. 🙂

 Day 1. Tour of North Batan

As soon as we took off, I had a good feeling this will be a good trip. I felt I needed a break from amidst an emotional roller coaster ride that shocked me during the first quarter of the year. But what I do not know is that, this will be so far the most unforgettable trip I will have. Aside from the jagged cliffs, rolling hills, and a 360o view of picturesque scenery, Batanes boasts a rich endearing culture only the Ivatans can emulate. Everywhere we go, people display courtesy, or exhibit an affable display that you belong. Jessie Jacob, our tour guide, greeted us with a gentle, but warm greeting. He is so soft spoken that I even have to consciously turn down the volume of my voice because I’m afraid to be misinterpreted. Jessie was our tour guide for the whole duration of our stay. Our driver/tour guide led us to a makeshift tour vehicle, a signature feature of our lodging place, Crisan’s Lodge. IMG_2374IMG_2308

Since our room is still being cleaned, we went first to the Basco Lighthouse and from there, my heart grew more excited, because the first stop was already spectacular. I thought to myself, if this is just the beginning, and each day will be better, I think I’ll be lost for words to describe this place. My father (Tatay) and are already grinning from ear to ear, like a happy child about to get his most desired treat for a reward. We chose to stay at Crisan Lodge and Tour as recommended by a friend and they did not disappoint. It even raised the bar of the home stays I’ve been into. The owners, Mon Imperial and his wife, Crisan, are very warm and accommodating. As soon as we arrived, they served us complimentary breakfast, and gave us a brief background about Batanes and the tour package we will get. They also have a grocery store downstairs containing more than the basic essentials. It was so convenient for us, such that, we just go down at any time of the day, sometimes, in our pambahay, to buy a pack of 3-in-1 coffee or a bottle of beer.  We exchanged stories like we have known each other for a long time, and are just picking up where we left off. He suggested that we’ll have a tour of North Batan, day 2 would be Sabtang Island; the third day is for the South of Batan. After briefing and breakfast, he sent us off with Jessie.

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The vehicle used by Crisan Lodge for their guests. We learned that Kuya Mon is from Sabtang , which is known for making roof like this in their tricycles.

Banlugan Boulder Beach

Banlugan Boulder Beach

For the North of Batan tour, we went to: Mt. Carmel chapel, PAG-ASA weather station, just across the chapel. We also passed by Fundacion Pacita, Rolling hills, and the Disnapuwan Cave. Jessie told us a brief history about the tunnel. He also took us to the Banlugan boulder beach. Jessie told us that the stones were from the eruption of Mt. Iraga during the 1400s. I gathered these were the stones used in the Ivatan houses. Last stop is the Rolling Hills, where we had the first 360o view of Batanes beauty at its finest. We took our lunch at Pension House where we had the Seafood’s Ivatan Express. The fushion of creamy coconut milk and a hint of shrimp paste created a happy symphony of flavor in your mouth. On our way out of the restaurant, we first laid our eyes on the famous coconut crab. The huge crab is still scraping the coconut meat (endocarp) off the shell, we were at awe looking at this creature. Finally, we retreated back to our “home” and before we called it a day, we decided to bike to the Basco Lighthouse and watched the sunset.  Crisan’s Lodge also offers bike rentals for PhP 20/hr for their guests, and a little extra fee for those who are billeted elsewhere.

 Day 2: Sabtang Island

We woke up at 6 am the second day. We went to Ivana port, where the boat going to Sabtang is waiting. Sir Mon gave me a piece of paper containing the name of our tour guide, Rudy Getcha (Tricycle no. 8). Adjacent to the port is the famous Honesty Store. Since we still had time, we had our cup of warm coffee there and had a quick tour around the port.  We boarded the bus at 7am and had a 20 minute boat ride to Sabtang. The unruly waves made me a little dizzy, that I’m glad it took us less than half an hour.  Locals say it can take longer depending on the waves. A town with a population of almost 2,000 spread across six barangays, Sabtang is another feast in the eye. A combination of green pasture lands, stunning rock formations, and a long, powdery white shoreline, it is another unique beauty that deserves a second round of visit. We went to Morong Beach and Chavayan Village (a nominee of the UNESCO Heritage Site), and the roads going to these places are already worth the treat. I have never, ever trudged a road by the edge of the cliff, overlooking the pacific ocean, in an open vehicle, and yet, feeling safe. In Chavayan Village, we were able to try the best tasting boiled egg form the ative chicken, and the sweetest coconut juice and meat I’ve ever tried.


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IMG_5225 As we entered the charming village, we were instantly smitten and awed (I might use this word a thousand times in this entry) at how the village people was able to preserve the cultural heritage of this place. Mang Rudy said that home stay is available at this village for just PhP 150/night. If we would spend overnight in the place, we will be able to see the six villages. But since, we’ll just be staying for half day, we will only cover four villages. For lunch, we dined in a restaurant near the beach. This is where I’ve tasted the BEST BUKAYO EVER. The coconut meat is still soft, and the sugar is perfectly crystallized, just enough to cover the shredded coconut meat. This is also where I was able to taste Coconut crabs and Seafood Kare Kare that I could not get enough of my Turmeric Rice.  

Day 3: Tour of South Batan

Day 3 was our last tour and we spent until almost 5 pm. Sir Mon had new guests and suggested that we group together. We found new companions in the persona of Anne and Ces from Manila. For the South Batan tour, our eyes were treated to even more beautiful places: Chawa View Deck, Mahatao Shelter Port, San Carlos Borromeo Church with the archive of blank books, Racuh A Payaman (also known as the Marlboro Country), Alapad Pass (where the famous “I-Dawn Zulueta mo ako!” scene from the movie ‘Hihintayin kita sa Langit’ was shot, according to Jessie). This is also where you can have a good view of the Loran Station, where the National Museum of Batanes is currently being built (once built, it will be another must-see in Batanes). We also saw the Alapad Rock Formation and Song Song Ruins (where I was speechless hearing that nobody died from the tsunami that hit Song Song – thus, Song Song Ruins, because the locals had their way of predicting if a tsunami is coming); the House of Dakay (A heritage house that was built in the 1800s), the Spanish Bridge, and the Blue Lagoon.

Alapad Rock formation

Alapad Rock formation

Marlboro country or Racuh A Payaman

Marlboro country or Racuh A Payaman

Song Song Ruins

Visiting the Song Song Ruins is one of my most favorite part of the South Batan tour, upon hearing how the locals rely on nature to predict a natural calamity.  It was through this remarkable indigenous knowledge that they were able to evacuate the place on time, and leaving no casualties, except, the houses.  Jessie told us that the evacuees were relocated in Bukidnon, and after 30 years, were invited to go to Batanes again. But they already found home in Bukidnon (and maybe some places in Mindanao).

One of the highlights of the trip was the San Lorenzo Ruiz church in Imnajbu, where the first baptism and mass in Batanes was conducted. As I sat on one of the pews and prayed, I was lulled by the waves of the sea. It was so calming, refreshing, and overwhelming at the same time. My heart was dancing in joy that I finally found a place in my heart where I could just sit down, reflect, and know that God is here. I know God is everywhere, but this place, somehow found a way to my heart that made me sure that HE is with me and HE hears me.

While we were touring around the famous House of Dakay (the oldest stone house in Batanes), I met THE Mandy Navasero of Inquirer! I was surprised to learn she was from Los Banos (I absent-mindedly wrote “UP Los Banos” as our address in the Dakay guestbook, and not long after, I heard her name calling from the crowd “Who’s from UPLB!?”). She was so kind enough to take a photo of me and Tatay, and even signed off her name on my notebook. She was such a nice person and I told her I wish I could take one of the Photography classes.  She was so nice and accommodating, she asked for my email and she gave her mobile number. What can I say, I felt starstruck!

 The places we visited in the South Batan was so overwhelmingly beautiful, I decided to leave some details off this blog, to entice more people to go and see Batanes. But one thing I can tell: My Batanes trip was simply meant to be, it happened at the right time and we were rewarded with the perfect weather, a happy company, and met new interesting people.

 Day 4: Downtime with more treasure finds

We didn’t have any arranged tour for this day, so Tatay and I decided to bike around town. We went back to Basco Lighthouse, and tried to take more photos (we can never have enough photos!). On our way back, we decided to stop by a three week old coffee place, called Phil’s Brew. Phil’s Brew is owned by Ms. Imee Amboy. The place is her tribute to her late father, who is an Ivatan. Imee moved to Minadanao in the 90s, but went back to Batanes recently, as her father wanted to refurbish their ancestral house. She points at me a water tank that still has the foundation from 1800s. “My father just refurbished some areas, but, the big stones found at the bottom of the water tank have been preserved,” she says proudly.

The Malunggay Cookie from Phil's Brew goes well with its signature brewed coffee. In the afternoon, I had camote fritters, locally known as "Diko"

The Malunggay Cookie from Phil’s Brew goes well with its signature brewed coffee. In the afternoon, I had camote fritters, locally known as “Diko”

Phil’s Brew offers a unique concept of embodying the Ivatan endearing culture, while patronizing the local products. Her delectable Malunggay cookies (3pcs for 25 pesos) are so delicious which goes best with her signature blend coffee. She has a lot of stories to tell, and speaks so eloquently about Ivatan culture as if she has lived here all her life.  As you enter the store, there’s a signage that explains that this is an almost “Do-it-yourself” coffee shop: a One-woman-show, that’s Imee who prepares and serves coffee. She rings the bell on the counter when it’s ready for pick – up and she expects the customer to buzz the table. “So far, I’m happy how the guests are being participative of this rule,” she says. I told her, that it’s not hard to follow, since it follows the principle of the famous Honesty Coffee Shop at the Ivana Port.

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The charming facade of Phil’s Brew makes you feel you’re in for a treat.

The unique set up of the coffee shop is reminiscent of the Honesty Store, one of the famous tourist sites that leverages the unique Ivatan trait

The unique set up of the coffee shop is reminiscent of the Honesty Store, one of the famous tourist sites that leverages the unique Ivatan trait

Her principle is to patronize the local products, leveraging the underrated talent of her neighborhood. Asked where she got the Malunggay cookies, she told me, “from my neighbor who bakes it so well, I wanted her products to get famous.” The basket that contains her home made sardines are made by a group of elderly women who weaves baskets “I would like to give them another potential source of income,” she said. Putting up a coffee shop was one of the new things she ventured out, to recuperate from the loss of her father. She feels hopeful about her new adventure, after taking a hiatus from her  work in the development field. She admits she’s new in the business, but remains hopeful that eventually, beautiful things will take shape. I remain hopeful that this coffee shop would add more value to the already known Ivatan culture, which I admire. We exchanged more stories and opinions, and I told her about my new found appreciation about the people in Batanes. She proudly says that the children are brought up to be courteous, they even do the “Mano” to the elders, regardless if they are a relative or not.  She was like a long lost mentor, another find where I could just open up my heart, to a friend, and carry a conversation like we’re just catching up on our lives.

Tatay and I are just so happy to be here. We hope to bring the rest of the family here next time

Tatay and I are just so happy to be here. We hope to bring the rest of the family here next time

Batanes does not only boast about the pristine beaches, stunning mountain views, and rolling hills. It simply overflows with sincere beauty – not just in places, but in people. My 4 nights, 5 days stay is not enough, because other than the place, you can have a chat with the locals as if you’ve known them for a long time. Even the strangers I met from Manila are very pleasant, that it strips off the typical Manila vibe (busy, rushing, impatient, dirty, which I know masks a lot of beautiful good people, but never came across because the place intimidates me a lot) that I associated with, for the longest time. There are instances that I associate a place with the kind of people I meet, and vice versa, sometimes mutually exclusive, but seldom inclusive. But, visiting Batanes opened up my eyes, that it is part of reality to have such a place where beauty in people and the place coexists, and sometimes, they do not also come in mutually inclusive package.

I realized that we are all just the same. We share the principle of having simple joys, hopes, and aspirations. We just needed a place to converge, a meeting place to strip off a bit of our soul, and exchange stories. Batanes provided a platform for us to converge and realize that we all aim for a hopeful, vibrant, and refreshing “restart.”

Going to Batanes is like a opening a Pandora box, a wonder within a wonder within a wonder. Each time you open, you seem to like more what you discover. As we set off back to Manila, we could not contain our gratefulness to Sir Mon, Ma’am Crisan, and Jessie. To top it all, he gave us a copy of Ivatan Cultural Studies Journal. What more can you ask for? And yes, I’m going back to Batanes, to search for more words to describe it. For one trip is never enough. After all, my father promised to bring our gracious host a box of buko pie next time.

The not so bad things of the past

When I’m sick, I have the tendency to go through my old stuff. Today, I found my old doodles that I did during my otaku (anime additction) days. I remember being fond first to the sentai series (Bioman, Maskman, Shaider, etc). My Fridays nights are filled with the line up from ABS-CBN’s primetime shows (X Men, Power Rangers, Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210, Baywatch). Since Friday night is the only time I can watch TV as much as I want, I make sure I don’t miss this line up.

In anime, I remember being fond of Voltes V, Daimos, Princess Sarah (and all the ABS CBN morning line ups) and, yeah, there are the latter animes—Yuyu Hakusho (Ghostfighter), Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X), Fushigi Yuugi and Vision of Escaflowne. And during this time was the peak of my fondness for doodling. I used to like designing clothes because I’m always fascinated with prom dresses featured in Seventeen magazine. But, as I grew older, I shifted to more structured type of drawing – anime.

So much has passed, I remember that time giving up this hobby because I always have this eye for perfection. I easily get frustrated when I can never get things right. I tried doodling my favorite characters, and when my end product doesn’t look like them, it frustrated me a lot. I had a lot of insecurities to the people around me, it discouraged me, and I thought, I’d draw a few pieces the last time and stop. That’s it. I also can’t afford to keep a hobby while trying to get decent grades in UP. I’m not as smart as everybody else. So I picked up my pens for the last time, popped my favorite CD (that my bestfriend gave me) and drew, and drew. And drew. These were my last pieces.

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Rurouni Kenshin’s Kaoru Kamiya. *Sigh* I like how I drew straight lines back then, because, frankly, I can’t draw straight lines well

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Rurouni Kenshin’s Kenshin Himura. I remember I can’t draw his eyes so I had to resort to this. I can’t remember the meaning of the Japanese characters I included. It looks so long ago, I regretted even folding the paper into two.

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Card Captor Sakura, one of my sister’s favorite anime. I also like how “clean” and cute the anime looks like. Kerobero’s head looks a little eggy, though.

It looks basic to someone who knows how to draw, but to me, looking at it now, 13 years later, these were precious pieces. Because I knew I put my heart and soul into it and this is the best pieces I’ve made (I wish I could do an Amorsolo or even a greater painting, but because I decided to stop pursuing this hobby, I could only be proud of this). But I feel proud of myself now because I realized that talent may not fade, but you need the skill to do it again. It’s like if you have a creative talent, even if you stop drawing, you will just express it in other forms. Like right now, I try to design science-based communication materials, and sometimes I would still be fascinated with something beautiful to my eyes.  I realized some things never fade. So I tried to draw again, and here’s how my skill was, 13 years later.

After 13 years, I picked up my pen and tried if could draw again. It could be a start.

After 13 years, I picked up my pen and tried if could draw again. It could be a start.

While I was drawing this, my fingers were shaking as I attempt to grip the pen right. I was shaking, and had not direction where my shading would go, but it was a nice try, I guess. After this, my left hand was aching maybe because I gripped the pen too much and I drew too heavily on the paper. Actually, there were some pen bleed on the next blank page.

I admire people who do not get emotional attachment to things, or music, or anything that would link them to their past. I know some friends who are like this and I admire them being amiable and not to hold grudges of the past. A friend told me that he is not attached to things given to him that’s why when I give him things, it doesn’t stay long with him. While I, the ever sentimental, I try to keep all the memorabilia of a certain memory. Because, for me, as the name itself, it brings back the feeling, if not the memory , associated with that thing.  As for me, I always come back to my memory box, reading all the letters and looking at doodles given to me by friends. It brings a lot of memories back, something that’s irreversible and  intangible; but these pieces reminds me of who I was, what was it in my past that I loved before that I decided to throw away (like doodling, art, and everything related to rendering my emotions). Years ago, I decided to throw these away hoping I’d be better, but, I always go back to this, and I miss the feelings that I associated with the pieces of memories I now hold in my hands. I miss some things that were part of my past.

There are some things I miss about my old self, and there are things I like about my new self. I still have to find that silver lining where the link between the best of the old and the new me would emerge and become the person I envision myself to be. A carefree, loving person who is not afraid to take risk and be fearless of the unknown, strong enough to wield courage to emerge victorious in moments of despair, a woman of grace who can be rational but unselfish, a child who finds pleasure in life’s simple joys, and always hungry for new wisdom.

Maybe, if I draw again, then I might discover something new and beautiful about me.

Countdown to thirty three Part 1

That should be about 116 days from now. I’ve encountered articles writing about decade-long learnings– i.e. Things I learned in my 20s, etc. My learning, didn’t begin until I reached 30. I think  I was swept off with chronic bouts of depression over the last three years since I entered that magical decade, and was not able, until now, to say I am ready to wiggle out of my hole. Yes, it took me this long to think through and rationalize thigs– what worked, what didn’t work… everything was an iterative process. And I cannot wait to write it up until I turn 33 or even 40 before I compose and article “Shitty things I learned when I turned 40,”  so let me cap off what happened in that three dark years:

Love. I finally took it upon myself to TRY telling a person that I liked him for the years that we’ve been together as friends (that maybe he DID notice, but was polite to brush it off). But TRY is such a big word for me, so nothing materialized. I remember reading a spiritual book by Elizabeth Phillips that females who are attracted to the opposite sex, should learn how to keep their feelings. So I still kept it. Guarded it. But, because the feeling was too much to take, it couldn’t help but fill up the brim sometimes, I behaved harshly, I put up a wall between us so as to guard this feeling so much. In my attempt to do so, I pushed the guy away (at least in my perception). then I would feel morose. Then I would like to “take it all back.” Be apologetic. Then I see something, I behave irrationally again. I was crazy. Crazy little bitch. Until recently, I just don’t feel like talking anymore. I was too exhausted. I feel like I am an empty shell. Void and cold. Uninspired. In deep shit. I remember my sister who coaxed me to watch “Frozen” because, she described me as Elsa. Someone who guarded her feelings so much when actually it’s okay to be yourself and you are just vulnerable as anyone else. Yeah, let it go.

Last night, during dinner, I was able to blurt all of these to my friend, who’s a good listener (Really, I should have her skills). I realized then what was SO wrong with me. Where is this all bitterness coming from. “I cannot give, what I do not have,” I recall telling her. Even if my guy friend who keeps showering me with affection, could not fill the void that I am feeling. I also acknowledge my feelings that I am really feeling low. That I am feleing empty and that I forgot how it is to be happy again. I realized last night that I miss my old self– when I was below 30, then. I was a poor employee, no regular salary, but then I could not recall the exact moment, but I remember the feeling that time– I was in my happiest form then. I have the world in my hands. And then, I turned 30 and I was not the same. Maybe it’s the choices I made. I didn’t love myself enough to know what I deserve.

So at 32 turning 33, life taught me how it is to feel empty. That deep ingrained loneliness that you don’t know where it’s coming from and such an emptiness that no one can ever seem to fill. And at this age, I realize, I have to chase after it and then be joyful.

At this age, I realized I do not need a lovelife or another person to play my cards with; I don’t need to look for happiness again. I need to learn how to be joyful. In every loneliness, in every circumstances, in every pain.

I was thinking of a perfect bible verse, but one of my favorites kept running in my head: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. This is my season of finding joy. I have to bring myself up again. It’s been too long already.

Uncertainties and hopefulness

A few hours from now, it will be another year.
In a matter of few hours, things will have to change, and I have to adapt.

First off, the job. I’ll be signing a different contract for another two years and six months.
Second, the relatives. My uncle and his family will be relocated in the other island for a promotion. We don’t know if it’s temporary or otherwise. We’re preparing that we might have a new province, possibly a retirement place– Cebu.
Third, the character. With all the encounters I had this year– it definitely changed me into another person. Stronger, but not necessarily better. Too tactful, honest to a fault, reserved. Not so me looking at myself 10 yrs back.I just came from a series of gathering with old friends and I’m like outside looking in. There’s this unsettling feeling…I just couldn’t explain.
Which leads to the fourth point, the relationships. I have pondered, mulled over, and exhausted myself too much of why things are happening the way it is now. Why my relationships with people seemed to be different now. Different in an odd way. The unsettling feeling creeps in again.

These changes reminded me of the book “Who moved my cheese?”maybe these changes are inevitable as I scurry through my maze. Maybe this is the middle phase when I have to face the true issues of my life –(1) changing the face for the new job; (2) changing my perspective towards potential permanent change; (3) prepping my rational thinking mode so that I remain what I am suppose to be while not losing myself into the process; (4) preparing acceptance, that change is constant, and there are relationships, people, and character that I really have to let go to be able to move forward. I’m having difficulty with the fourth one though, because it’s where I invested most…not that I am expecting a ROI. I just wonder if I am important, somehow important, I am to people whom I care the most and would be much willing to give my life to.

I hope to welcome 2014 with lesser questions. I want to be over asking about things that will never take shape, relationships that could never be formed, good times that are now a thing of the past, learning to accept things as they are and move forward. See more beautiful people out there. Take courage to love vastly as the Pacific Ocean once again (and I meant love in all forms). Lastly, I pray for divine wisdom to help me discern relationships that are worth forming and nurturing… those that would make me fee grateful and blessed.

Happy new year. I hope to find people who’d still love me for what I have become. I hope this is not a lot to ask for. If there’s one thing certain, 2014 will bring good things.

Cobwebs

There are cobwebs that needs to be cleared up. Several years ago, there’s this race I’ve set my mind on. And then after that I became unsure if I am indeed running the right track. My race is like how I run in a marathon, always in a slow, steady pace. I never push myself to something I don’t think I can win or at least hit my goal.

Is life supposed to be like this– always taking the carefully-planned, easy route?

What am I afraid of– am I afraid of failure? Does this feeling reflects the kind of faith that I have?

Does happiness equate to fulfillment? Or which of these should man be seeking? What should be the ultimate goal?