It’s kind a kind of feeling that never settles.
It’s a gray between your shades of darkness and light. Happiness and pain.
A silver lining that is known to exist, but refuses to reveal itself, so you begin to wonder its existence.
I am like a “scientist,” tracing and chasing uncertainties.
I am floating. Neither happy nor sad. Neither feeling triumphant or a failure. Neither a hero or a damsel in distress.