Uncertainties and hopefulness

A few hours from now, it will be another year.
In a matter of few hours, things will have to change, and I have to adapt.

First off, the job. I’ll be signing a different contract for another two years and six months.
Second, the relatives. My uncle and his family will be relocated in the other island for a promotion. We don’t know if it’s temporary or otherwise. We’re preparing that we might have a new province, possibly a retirement place– Cebu.
Third, the character. With all the encounters I had this year– it definitely changed me into another person. Stronger, but not necessarily better. Too tactful, honest to a fault, reserved. Not so me looking at myself 10 yrs back.I just came from a series of gathering with old friends and I’m like outside looking in. There’s this unsettling feeling…I just couldn’t explain.
Which leads to the fourth point, the relationships. I have pondered, mulled over, and exhausted myself too much of why things are happening the way it is now. Why my relationships with people seemed to be different now. Different in an odd way. The unsettling feeling creeps in again.

These changes reminded me of the book “Who moved my cheese?”maybe these changes are inevitable as I scurry through my maze. Maybe this is the middle phase when I have to face the true issues of my life –(1) changing the face for the new job; (2) changing my perspective towards potential permanent change; (3) prepping my rational thinking mode so that I remain what I am suppose to be while not losing myself into the process; (4) preparing acceptance, that change is constant, and there are relationships, people, and character that I really have to let go to be able to move forward. I’m having difficulty with the fourth one though, because it’s where I invested most…not that I am expecting a ROI. I just wonder if I am important, somehow important, I am to people whom I care the most and would be much willing to give my life to.

I hope to welcome 2014 with lesser questions. I want to be over asking about things that will never take shape, relationships that could never be formed, good times that are now a thing of the past, learning to accept things as they are and move forward. See more beautiful people out there. Take courage to love vastly as the Pacific Ocean once again (and I meant love in all forms). Lastly, I pray for divine wisdom to help me discern relationships that are worth forming and nurturing… those that would make me fee grateful and blessed.

Happy new year. I hope to find people who’d still love me for what I have become. I hope this is not a lot to ask for. If there’s one thing certain, 2014 will bring good things.

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